From 1980, until his death on August 18, Phil Donahue was joyfully married to fellow television giant Marlo Thomas. Theirs was a relationship that began on his groundbreaking program, The Phil Donahue Show, later simply called Donahue, and theirs was a relationship that coalesced into a powerful television fan base, a community that followed the story of their romance across 44 years of love, triumph, and devotion.
After beginning his career in 1957, Donahue rose to prominence as a groundbreaking television host who promoted audience participation at a previously unprecedented level. Marlo, the daughter of TV icon Danny Thomas, is known for her children’s franchise Free to Be… You and Me, as well as the sitcom That Girl. Their respective careers have earned them countless accolades over the years, but for Donahue and Thomas, the greatest reward was the decades they got to spend together. Here is their story.
Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue fall in love on live television
The entire nation got to witness the moment two soulmates first crossed paths. They reflected on the fateful moment in a 2012 YouTube video. The year was 1977, and Thomas was hard at work promoting her latest movie, Thieves, which led her to an appearance on The Phil Donahue Show.
As the segment progressed, the two not only bounced off one another like they’d known each other for years; they even progressed into flirtatious behavior. At one point, Donahue went in for a hand hold, and sweetened the deal with, “You are really fascinating.”
“You are wonderful,” Marlo had replied. She recalled from that day, “I said it when we were off the air and I want to say, you are loving and generous and you like women and it’s a pleasure.” During that appearance, Thomas had also said, “Whoever is the woman in your life is very lucky.”
The most perfect unions have flaws too
Technically, this was their second meeting, though certainly the moment that they fell in love, as Marlo called it “instant chemistry.” But they had crossed paths when she was a guest in 1972, back when his show was still filmed in Dayton. Second time’s the charm, although before entering that venue, Marlo had no idea and had no eye for courtship. “I kissed a lot of frogs, so I wasn’t even looking,” she explained to Closer back in 2020, adding, “I went on Phil’s television show, and that is how we met. I fell in love.” Then, they tied the knot on May 21, 1980.
Initially, there was conflict.
“In the beginning, we argued hot and heavy because we were in more of a power struggle,” admitted Marlo. “As years went by, we settled into debating or arguing in a better, calmer way.”
At one point, Donahue’s career placed him in Chicago, but he resettled once again, this time in New York, to be with Thomas. That level of commitment and mutual support directed at one another’s careers defined one of their greatest strengths. “A lot of people don’t have a good partner,” mused Thomas. “They marry someone who puts them down or is abusive in some way or isn’t really invested in making their dreams come true. I feel that no matter what cockeyed idea I get in my head, my husband will always say, ‘You ought to do that! You will be great at that.’ I am very grateful for that blessing.”
Likewise, Thomas was mindful of the pre-existing family she was coming into; Donahue had been married to Margaret Cooney from 1958 to 1975. From his first marriage, Donahue had sons Michael, Kevin, Daniel and James and daughter Mary. “From the very first day, I decided that I was not going to try to be a ‘mother’ to Phil’s children in the traditional sense,” Marlo outlined, “they already had a mom—but, instead, to be their friend. I’m proud to say that the friendships I established with them are as strong today as they were 30 years ago—even stronger.”
Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but quarantining during the COVID-19 pandemic taught both of the television pioneers to stop and breathe, all while basking in one another’s company at a much slower pace. After getting a taste of that, she told People in April 2020, they were “determined to get back to a slower pace, and that means curling up on the couch in front of the TV with a big bowl of popcorn. I like to call it ‘Netflix and Phil.’”
Last year marked their 43rd wedding anniversary, and Marlo attributed their lasting relationship to three L’s: “Love, listening, and lust.”
“You have to listen and then you’ll know what the other person is really thinking and going through,” she explained, “You have to love each other. And without lust, you don’t have anything.”
Check out the moment both their lives changed forever in the video below.
